Top Advice List For Guys About To Marry

This advice list is begin to anyone considering marriage, but would probably be suited better for the men.

1. Never, ever admit to your wife you had any fun when you were with your friends, but not with her. She is now the center of your universe. You divulge her when you get home from being with your buddies that you had fun, but it “just was not the same without you.”

2. Preserve some of those spare gas station flowers hidden well in the car. That device if you are late coming home, you will prove that you went out of your way to win her something.

3. If you gamble, they will love it when you win, so do you tell her when you lose? Take some advice in bankruptcy court they will ask if one of you had a gambling problem.

4. Pick your own name for your kid. You give him your name (Jr.) every bad trait this kid will have will be your fault according to her. Secret: Every bad trait of that kid will be your fault anyway. Why gain it easy.

5. If you help around the house and you should, you are on uncharted territory. You are trespassing even though she appreciates it.

6. A no-brainer: Your wife will never be fat, even if she eats a bag of nacho-chips for a snack, or if she gets a hair cut and she looks like “Snoop-Dog.” You tell her she is thin and her hair looks heavenly. Do not remark her the eye doctor mentioned to you, that you have cataracts.

7. Hate your neighbors, because if you do not guess where you will be going when there is nothing to do.

8. You need points. Go out and get her favorite dessert alone in rush hour. Chances are she will savor it, and may even forget about that stamp you got from the cops while you were doing that.

9. Her relatives first. Yours may not exist. Always have a conception B. A job interview, an obstructed bowel, a Peace Corp. meeting, your giving blood at the hospital.

10. You want this pet, lets say a dog. She hates dogs. You do not mention you take it. You say you rescued it, someone left it in the assist of your open bed truck.
(By the way someone did leave a dog in the back of my truck once at a mall)

These are some hints, and for the legal minded not intended as advice. Happy landings. If you want more just comment!

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